Gender, Diversity, and Family Dynamics 2

This DB, covering family, gender, and diversity, explores the lives of three students who were silenced by society at an early age. Like most students, the writers explain, “During my years in high school I had not fully come to terms with my racial identity, but at least my relationship with my mother was getting better” (425).  Growing up in an predominantly white, Christian, middle-class city, students had little opportunity to deviate from the social “norm”. These types of restrictions have had a long-lasting impact on young adults who are confined by societal bounds. Similar to Pecola in the Bluest Eye, young women struggle to fit the standards of patriarchal societies. Just like Pecola, a student explains, “I also genuinely felt that God would one day transform me into a “normal” person” (429). As I’ve emphasized in previous posts, beauty coincides with the notion of power. The “dominant” breed always conquers those “less fit” for the world. In today’s world, the dominant breed is usually—white, attractive, straight and male.

           

            In a society where everything else is a deviant from the norm, our suffering is often marginalized or silenced. The second student in our reading explains, “I realized that hiding my homosexuality from the world was only going to bring me to grief” (432). Issues of sexuality and gender are issues that should liberate a person—not punish them. I feel like we take this for granted. Something so simple like our sexuality is in fact, a reflection of our freedom of  choice and expression. When one is against the norm, “I found myself having to fight hard against all of these cultural stereotypes” (443). Our social identities should be a liberating proclamation of who we are. Today’s politics with DADT, or DOMA punish or condemn homosexuality in the public sphere. The state’s lack of acceptance is a direct reflection its citizens’ moral standards.

DADT stands in the way of thousands of men and women from expressing their sexuality-- something we all take for granted. 

          

            Another pivotal part of this week’s readings was Johnny Lee’s narrative of his sexual assault. In response to this scene, homophobes argue that Lee’s promiscuity on the internet put him in that situation. The same argument is often ignorantly applied to women’s rape. Patriarchal bigots often argue that a woman’s choice of attire (short skirt, low top etc. etc.) means that she is “asking for rape” or that she had it coming. I recently ran into an old high school friend who eloquently explained that women who chose to dress a certain way knew the “consequences” of their actions. I believe she said: “If you don’t want to get raped by some dude, don’t dress like a slut who wants it”. Statements like these are not only blatantly sexist, but show no sympathy towards the victims. Instead, the victim begins to put blame on him or herself for the actions. Similarly Johnny Lee says that he believed he was responsible for his attack. Additionally, stereotypes like these only exacerbate the suffering and victimization. The students explains, “Shame begets silence, and it is the silence that truly hurts in the end” (448). Pardon me for my little rant here, but I think this type of ignorance towards others is the same type of discrimination we show towards homosexuals, minorities, or any other social group that does not fit our established standards.  Just like no one asks to be sexually assaulted, no human being asks or deserves to be unfairly discriminated on the basis of sexuality, race, or gender.

“Shame begets silence, and it is the silence that truly hurts in the end” (448).